Baby Blues. Help

Yep like the title says I have the baby blues. : (

I know at this point and time it would not be in the best interest of any one to try for a child now, but it does not mean I still do not feel the need. Dh and I will not have health insurance until October and although we could live with a baby in the apartment, I think it would be best for us to have a house. We will live fine on 9 dollars an hour with just us but a baby would really be pushing it The desire is so intense right now though. I just keep on telling my self it's not the right time, but my heart keeps on saying if you start trying now you'll have insurance by the time your doctors appointments start. But I can;t think like that I must resist these urges.

I find myself looking at baby stuff online or in stores. I have every thing thought out (even though I know it will all be different lol) I would cloth diaper, brestfeed, and co sleep (with those cool things that roll and hook on to the bed) I even found the best products and prices.

Sad I know.

I feel like God is telling me to forfill my womenly dutie to bring children into this world, but I know I can't. Not yet.

Help? Any one?