Thinking.

About the birth control issue I have been fighting with my self again.

What do you do when you can't help but feel like a murder, but your husband insists on me taking it still? It's not that he is an un-godly man because he is not. He is just afraid that if we put it into God's hands I will become pregnant and we wont be financially ready. That I would not be able to stay home and that we will never buy a house. Honestly I understands how he feels and I respect him. But I really do not see the money issue. I will have insurance in October. So that is taken care of. I would breastfeed until the baby would eat solids ok got that. Cloth diaper. Got that. And gear and clothing from my shower (my family is BIG on showers) and from salvation army. I feel that we would be fine.

I would like real input from people on how expensive it really is. From frugal breastfeeding Christian women if you would be so kind. Becuase I know there are allot of lurkers on this site *giggles*

The money thing aside though, I truely believe that god would not give me a child if he thought I couldn't do it. I've prayed very hard about this and I truly believe it is the right thing to do. Any help would be greatly apreciated.

One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?) --I Timothy 3:4, 5

Baby Blues. Help

Yep like the title says I have the baby blues. : (

I know at this point and time it would not be in the best interest of any one to try for a child now, but it does not mean I still do not feel the need. Dh and I will not have health insurance until October and although we could live with a baby in the apartment, I think it would be best for us to have a house. We will live fine on 9 dollars an hour with just us but a baby would really be pushing it The desire is so intense right now though. I just keep on telling my self it's not the right time, but my heart keeps on saying if you start trying now you'll have insurance by the time your doctors appointments start. But I can;t think like that I must resist these urges.

I find myself looking at baby stuff online or in stores. I have every thing thought out (even though I know it will all be different lol) I would cloth diaper, brestfeed, and co sleep (with those cool things that roll and hook on to the bed) I even found the best products and prices.

Sad I know.

I feel like God is telling me to forfill my womenly dutie to bring children into this world, but I know I can't. Not yet.

Help? Any one?