It's been one of those days.

Are we at the cabin yet? No.

Our floor is done thank goodness! When we get back form the cabin we should be able to move in!!! AHHHH So excited.

On a darker note.

Last night my sister called me selfish because I have a genetic condition called EDS and I'm planning on having children. I think this is the most absurd thing in the world! If some one has high blood pressure in their family would they not have children because of it? NO. Every human carries some genetic defect. Allot are allot worse than mine, just because I know what that defect is does not mean I will pass it on. I have a one in four chance and honestly if I were to pass it on it would not be as bad as me because DH doesn't have this condition. (my mom and dad both had it slightly but didn't know it) Even if it was as bad; I would know how to deal with it. Grr. I can't help but be frustrated.

If every one got tested for every genetic defect they carried NO one would be haveing children...ever. I'm actually more worried about passing on something worse like Tasachts..*shivers* even though I have no family history.

But, the fact that she my own sister would think this. This condition is not a death sentence! It is a big part of my life and it made me stronger and have more character. But still I go back to the fact that my own sister thinks I shouldn't have children, she says she will adotp I want to some day too after I have my own because I want that feeling. That pregnancy feeling, and there for acourding to my sister I am selfsih.

Does this make any sence?

Baby Blues. Help

Yep like the title says I have the baby blues. : (

I know at this point and time it would not be in the best interest of any one to try for a child now, but it does not mean I still do not feel the need. Dh and I will not have health insurance until October and although we could live with a baby in the apartment, I think it would be best for us to have a house. We will live fine on 9 dollars an hour with just us but a baby would really be pushing it The desire is so intense right now though. I just keep on telling my self it's not the right time, but my heart keeps on saying if you start trying now you'll have insurance by the time your doctors appointments start. But I can;t think like that I must resist these urges.

I find myself looking at baby stuff online or in stores. I have every thing thought out (even though I know it will all be different lol) I would cloth diaper, brestfeed, and co sleep (with those cool things that roll and hook on to the bed) I even found the best products and prices.

Sad I know.

I feel like God is telling me to forfill my womenly dutie to bring children into this world, but I know I can't. Not yet.

Help? Any one?